Meet The NH99 Committee

Appearance Impish and not insignificant. Never Says I’ll pay my money up-front for Hash events. (So chin him if you’ve had trouble getting a last minute booking for Nash Hash!) Notable Hash Achievements More than 550 runs with Glasgow and with the rest of GH3 Nash Hash Committee securing Nash Hash 99 for Glasgow. Mission To put the ass in gravitas.

Appearance Distinguishable by Ariel white socks - usually ironed with creases you could cut your fingers on. Very respectable. But secretly He’s a Celtic FC supporter and a lager drinker. Likes Flashy cars and green suits. Mission To get everyone he knows on the net so he can send them all more of those diabolical jokes he tells.

Appearance Whippet. Notable for An enormous vocabulary worthy of his public school education but wasted on GH3 piss heads. Likes Motorbikes and older women.

Appearance Like a Glasgow clippie (bus conductress). Often Says Pound please - with the emphasis on pound. Slogan for Nash Hash A shag guaranteed or your money back – see me. If she was a Chocolate bar she would be A Yorkie bar - chunky and value for money.

Appearance Neat and tidy and looks like a runner (v unusual for GH3). Known to be Very correct - until she goes on hash weekends when she likes to get her kit off. She’s got The most expensive curtains on the hash. Drinks Boiled water - except on hash weekends – when she’ll drink anything.

Appearance Gamin. Likes Vodka - but it doesn’t like her! Notable for Her capacity to puke-for-Scotland after having that vodka. If she was a flower she would be A sensitive one. Speech style Monosyllabic. Catchphrase Yo!

Appearance Unique. Often Says“Its in the minutes” (even when it isn’t). Never Says No (and he’s got the condoms). Haring Style Sets the falsies and checks first and then joins them up. If he was a food he would be Asparagus tips.

Appearance Maternal computer nerd (If you know what I mean!) Likes Babies, babies, babies and Craig (her man) and her 100 Disc CD changer. Gallant runners-up award - Operates a micro-brewery in her front room. Narrowly failed to win NH99 beer contract, due to a VAT problem. (Very Acrid Taste!)

Appearance Leprechaun. Likes Gin, men from the South West and diets. Favourite position Prone-invariably after the gin. Downfall Packets of biscuits, gin and men from the South West. Often says Anything pre-fixed with ‘Och sure.

Appearance Avuncular ol’ git & retired merchant banker, who is always very brusque and business-like except on away week-ends when he lets his immaculately groomed hair down. Notable achievement 100 runs in 102 weeks (in Singapore). NOW will you stop going on about it Pirelli!

Likely to say Gaaaaa! Unlikely to say Encyclopaedia. Obsession Spectacles. Favourite games Clappy hands and ‘Keek’! Greatest achievements His timely interventions have calmed many a heated NH committee